Professional Experience
Book Recommendations
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As a counselor, I often discover books that I believe will benefit my clients.

Healing Life's Hidden Addictions: Overcoming the Closet Compulsions That Waste Your Time and Control Your Life - By Archibald D. Hart 

Contrary to Love; Helping The Sex Addict - By Patrick Carnes.
Dr. Carnes is renowned for his expertise on sexual addiction, since he has specialized in this field for over twenty years.  This book covers the complexities of sexual addiction in depth.

Facing the Shadow- Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery- By Patrick Carnes
An excellent workbook covering the addictive process, as seen in the chapter subtitles, "recognizing self-delusion, understanding addiction and compulsions, accepting the problem, changing and managing sexual behavior, understanding the body/sexuality neurologically, creating a support system, and deepening recovery".

Will Never Happen to Me! - By Claudia Black
This is an easy read on Children of Alcoholics dynamics, the roles and styles of relating that are learned in an alcoholic home.

In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior - by Patrick Carnes

False Intimacy: Understanding the Struggle of Sexual Addiction
by Harry W. Schaumburg
Often people attempt to use real or fantasized sexual relationships to satisfy intimacy needs.  Dr. Schaumburg shows that sexuality alone can't provide the relief, acceptance, and fulfillment that a person longs to obtain.

Men's Secret Wars - By Patrick Means
Many men are fighting secret wars against workaholism, sexual addiction, substance abuse, pornography, and extramarital affairs. This book helps readers recognize the risk factors that precede the development of a secret life. Drawing candidly from his own struggles and those of numerous other men, Patrick Means provides tested strategies for defeating the habits and secrets that threaten men's private lives. A study guide has been added to this paperback edition.
Living With Your Husband's Secret Wars - By Marsha Means
When a woman discovers that her husband is involved in sexual sin (whether its the sin of lust, pornography, infidelity, or some other behavior) pain whips through her like a tornado. Yet in the midst of incredible hurt, it is possible to find relief. 

Bodily Harm : The Breakthrough Healing Program for Self-Injurers - By Karen Conterio and Wendy Lader 

Love Must be Tough - By Dr. James Dobson
Dr. Dobson discusses the tough aspect of love, where partners must respect themselves in order to love others well.  He applies this concept to advice victims of affairs.
(available in Spanish too!)  

Back from Betrayal - Recovering from His Affairs - By Dr. Jennifer Schneider.
An honest and revealing book about compulsive affairs, what they mean and how to address this pattern.

Torn Asunder - By Dave Carder.
Dave Carder speaks to the one who has committed infidelity and to the partner, describing the road to recovery as well as critical pitfalls that defeat true healing.

The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook - By Edmund J., Ph.D. Bourne
Completely updated, this new edition of The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook presents step-by-step guidelines, questionnaires, and exercises to help sufferers learn skills and make lifestyle changes in order to get relief from distressing symptoms. Widely recommended by therapists, this book reflects all the latest developments in the field of anxiety treatment.

The Anxiety Cure - By Archibald, Dr Hart
The Anxiety Cure provides proven, natural strategies for overcoming panic disorder and anxiety, and finding an emotional balance in today’s fast-paced world. 

Child Abuse Outgrowing the Pain - By Eliana Gil, Ph.D.
This book assists in the resolution of the crippling effects of childhood abuse in an understandable and comforting venue.

The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse - By Dan B. Allender
The Wounded Heart is an intensely personal and specific look at this most "soul deadening" form of abuse. Personal, because it may be affecting you, your spouse, a close friend or neighbor, or someone you know well at church. And specific, because it goes well beyond the general issues and solutions discussed in other books.

Door of Hope: Recognizing and Resolving the Pains of Your Past - By Jan Frank
A powerful story of inspiration and restoration, Door of Hope, is Jan’s journey toward wholeness. But it is much more than a story; it is hope for other victims. In this updated edition, Jan provides a special section featuring answers to questions most often asked by abuse victims and those who love them.

When Victims Marry - Building a Stronger Marriage by Breaking Destructive Cycles - By Don and Jan Frank
Victimization in general is discussed as it reveals itself in marriage dynamics.

Emotional Dependency - By Lori Thorkelson-Rentzel

Mind Over Mood - By Dennis Greenberger.
Do moods drive you?  Understanding what is happening and applying specific skills will help those suffering from depression, panic and an anger management problem.

The Golden Cage - By Hilde Bruch.
Eating disorders offer solace and imprison at the same time.  Bruch discusses the causes, effects, and treatment of eating disorders.

Desperately Seeking Self: An Inner Guidebook for People with Eating Problems - By Viola Fodor
This book offers a spiritual dimension to healing. The intimate dialogue will help readers to open their hearts and minds to explore the nature of the inner self and the importance of self-love.

The Body Betrayed: A Deeper Understanding of Women, Eating Disorders and Treatment - By Kathryn J. Zerbe
Covers the most important aspects of diagnosis and treatment of eating disorders. Interlaces intelligent discussion with stories about individuals who have valiantly, though often at first reluctantly, engaged in recovery.

French Toast for Breakfast: Declaring Peace with Emotional Eating - By Mary Anne Cohen
With a focus on healing the emotional side of eating problems, this simple straightforward book explains how fear of fat shame, intimacy, anger, sexuality, and fear of success can contribute to food abuse. Also discusses a wide range of approaches to overcoming food problems from which readers can create their own healing program.

It's Not About Food - By Carol Emery Normandi
A book about going beneath the symptoms of an eating disorder to discover and heal the emotional, physical, and spiritual wounds that are at the core.

Anatomy of a Food Addiction: The Brain Chemistry of Overeating - By Anne Katherine
Clearly explains the chemical reactions in the brain that work in conjunction with lifelong emotional conflicts to make food such a comfort that it's almost like a drug.

When Food is Love: Exploring the Relationship Between Eating and Intimacy - By Geneen Roth
Explores topics such as fantasizing, wanting "the forbidden," creating drama, control issues, being strong in the broken places, and relationships.

Bulimia: A Guide to Recovery - By Lindsey Hall and Leigh Cohn
Offers a complete understanding of bulimia and a plan for recovery. Includes a three-week program to stop bingeing, things-to-do instead of bingeing, a guide for support groups, specific advice for loved ones, and "Eat Without Fear," Hall's story of self-cure which has inspired thousands of other bulimics.

Father Hunger: Fathers, Daughters, and Food - By Margo Maine
"Father Hunger" is the emptiness experienced by women whose fathers are/were emotionally absent, a void that can lead to unrealistic body image, yo-yo dieting, food fears and disordered eating patterns. "Father Hunger" is a common phenomenon of Western culture, whose dictates and myths limit a father's role, creating a loss for all family members.

Don't Forgive Too Soon: Extending the Two Hands That Heal - By Dennis Linn, Sheila Fabricant Linn, Matthew Linn

Death: The Final Stages Of Growth - By Elizabeth Kubler Ross. 

The Loss of a Pet - By Wallace Sife. 

The Healing Presence: Curing the Soul Through Union with Christ - By Leanne Payne 

Listening Prayer: Learning to Hear God's Voice and Keep a Prayer Journal - By Leanne Payne
Over twenty thousand readers have already learned how to improve their prayer life through Listening Prayer. Now available in paperback, this book explores the roadblocks that keep a person from hearing God's healing word and sets forth a road map for conducting listening prayer. Drawing on years of experience through her ministry of personal healing, Payne gives helpful instructions on how to begin a prayer journal.

Healing - By Francis MacNutt 

The Transformation of the Inner Man - By John Loren Sandford, Paula Sandford

Keeping the Love You Find - By Harville Hendrix

Facing Love Addiction - By Pia Mellody
Sometimes people get into relationships for the wrong reasons and find that they can't get out. This book is for just such a person.

The Skilled Helper: A Problem-Management and Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping - By Gerard Egan
Internationally recognized for its successful problem-management and opportunity development approach to effective helping, this is the "millennium edition" of Egan's classic book for helpers. Egan emphasizes the collaborative nature of the therapist-client relationship and uses a practical, three-stage model that drives client problem-managing and opportunity-developing action. Egan masterfully leads readers step-by-step through the counseling process, while giving them a feeling for the complexity inherent in any helping relationship. As readers begin to understand the various steps of the helping model, they are able to improve their competence and confidence measurably. 

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus - A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships - By John Gray.

Marriage in the Whirlwind: 7 Skills for Couples Who Can't Slow Down - By Bill Farrel and Pam Farrel

Men Are Like Waffles - Women Are Like Spaghetti - By Bill Farrel and Pam Farrel

My Love My Enemy: Meditations for the Separated - By Pat Morgan

Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul - By John Eldredge
God designed men to be dangerous, says John Eldredge. Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires--aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a nice guy. It is no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be--dangerous, passionate, alive, and free.

Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic - By Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
The spirited child--often called "difficult" or "strong-willed"--can easily overwhelm parents, leaving them feeling frustrated and inadequate. Spirited kids are, in fact, simply "more"--by temperament, they are more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, and uncomfortable with change than the average child. Through vivid examples and a refreshingly positive viewpoint, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka offers parents emotional support and proven strategies for handling their spirited child. Filled with personal insight and authorative advice, Raising Your Spirited Child can help make parenting the joy it should be, rather than the trial it can be.

Redirecting Children's Behavior - By Kathryn J. Kvols, Bill Riedler
This popular book is used as a text by thousands of parents in hundreds of parenting classes across the United States and overseas. You'll understand why, when you see the practical, logical suggestions for rearing self-motivated and responsible children. 

Your Child's Self Esteem - By Dorothy Corkille Briggs

Attachment Parenting - By Martha Sears

Family First: Tales of a Working Father - By Robert Blodgett
In the business world, loyalty often means long hours and sacrificing everything for the job. Today's working fathers, however, are no longer willing to shortchange their families in exchange for a career. Robert Blodgett is a working father with more than 15 years of corporate experience. In Family First, he shares the techniques that have helped him successfully manage a challenging career while maintaining family as his number one priority. 

The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World - By Marti Olsen Laney
Do you "zone out" if too much is going on? Are you energized by spending time alone? In meetings, do you need to be asked for your opinions and ideas? Do you tend to notice details that other people miss? Is your ideal celebration a small get-together, rather than a big party? Do you often feel like a tortoise surrounded by hares? The good news is, you're an introvert. The better new is that by celebrating the inner strengths and uniqueness of being an "innie," The Introvert Advantage shows introverts, and the extroverts who love them, how to work with instead of against their temperament to enjoy a well-lived life. Covering relationships, parenting -- including parenting the introverted child -- socializing, and the workplace, here are coping strategies, tactics for managing energy, and hundreds of valuable tips for not only surviving but truly thriving in an extrovert world. 

Emotional Intelligence - By Daniel Coleman.

I Hate You Don't Leave Me; Understanding The Borderline Personality Disorder ( BPD) - By Jerold Kreisman and Hal Straus.
Practical help is offered family, friends, and spouses in their relationships with individuals who often experience violent outbursts, are oversensitive to rejection, and may abuse drugs. Excellent and easy to read.

Boundaries - By Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
This book is written from a Biblical perspective for everyone who has trouble establishing and maintaining personal boundaries. Practical advice is given for those who need to learn to say "no," rather than letting others "run over them." 

Changes That Heal - By Henry Cloud
In this ground-breaking book, Dr. Cloud takes the reader step-by-step through the four basic tasks of becoming mature image bearers of God: Bonding to others - Separating from others - Sorting out good and bad in ourselves and others - Becoming an adult.

In My Father's Image: The Father Memories Workbook - By Randy Carlson and Rita Schweitz

Door Of Hope Recognizing And Resolving The Pains Of Your Past - By Jan Frank
Victims of abuse need to know how other people have made it through the recovery process. As a victim of incest herself, Jan Frank understands the myriad emotions that victims struggle with and offers ten proven stops toward recovery. In this updated edition, Jan provides a special section featuring answers to questions most often asked by abuse victims and those who love them.

Sexual Anorexia - By Patrick Carnes

The Courage to Heal: A book for adult women that are sexual abuse survivors 

On the Threshold of Hope - By Diane Mandt Langberg
Offers hope and healing to men and women who have been traumatized by sexual abuse. Dr. Langberg's insights and the quotations from many survivors assure readers that they are not alone and that Christ, the Redeemer, can heal their deep wounds. Through stories, Scripture, questions, and encouragement, Dr. Langberg walks with survivors on the road to healing through Christ's love and power.

Invisible Wounds - By Candace Walters

The Journal of Human Sexuality - George A. Rekers, Ed.
You Don't Have to Be Gay: Hope and Freedom for Males Struggling With Homosexuality or for Those Who Know of Someone Who Is - By Jeff Konrad
A non-technical, true-to-life book that shatters the myths about homosexuality, its causes and cures. Not based on simple pat answers, you Don’t Have To Be Gay gives clear instruction, well-documented argumentation, heartening encouragement, honest self-analysis and practical suggestions. Perfect for all who desire to understand homosexuality and its root causes.

Battered Into Submission: The Tragedy of Wife Abuse in the Christion Home: - By James Alsdurf and Phyllis Alsdurf

Lion and Lamb/the Relentless Tenderness of Jesus - By Brennan Manning

Abba's Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging - By Brennan Manning
The liberating message of this book is that God longs for us to know in the depths of our being that He loves and accepts us as we are. God is our "Abba," our loving Father, who knows us far better than we know ourselves. The shocking revelation of this book is two-fold. Sin has a far greater grip on our hearts and lives than we imagine. And God, who knows this full well, loves us far more than we can imagine, and longs to bring us into deeper, more joyful, passionate fellowship with Himself.

Waking the Dead  - By John Eldredge
There is a glory to life that most people—including believers—never see. In this insightful new book, John Eldredge presents the heart as central to life. Not only is the heart essential; the heart God has ransomed is also good. Building on these foundational truths, Eldredge shows readers why real Christianity is a process of restoration, where the broken parts of our hearts are mended and the captive parts are set free

The Journey of Desire: Searching for the Life We've Only Dreamed of - By John Eldredge
Sometimes it seems we just can't get what we want. Circumstances thwart our best-laid plans. We struggle to live a heartfelt life. Worst of all, says Eldredge, the modern church mistakenly teaches its people to kill desire (calling it sin) and replace it with duty or obligation (calling it sanctification). As a result, at best Christians tend to live safe, boring lives of resignation. At worst, their desire eventually breaks out in destructive ways such as substance abuse, affairs, and pornography addictions. Eldredge invites readers to rediscover God-given desire and to search again for the life they once dreamed of.

The Art of Forgiving: When you Need to Forgive and Don't Know How - By Lewis B. Smedes
What to forgive, what not to forgive, when the time is right, whether to resume a relationship, how to know whether you have done it, how to do it right - these and many more questions are answered thoughtfully by Dr. Smedes in this excellent book.

Toxic Faith: Understanding and Overcoming Religious Addiction - By Stephen Arterburn and Jack Felton
The goal of this book is best described in their words, "Well-meaning but misguided people can turn religion into a harmful addiction, an addiction that can be used to avoid commitments, avoid pain, avoid reality, avoid fear, and avoid growth. This type of faith is toxic.

Hustling God: Why we work so hard for what God wants to give - By M. Craig Barnes
Taken from the Biblical story of Jacob, Barnes entreats "hard-running, stressed-out, burned-out people to simply stop. Stop running-long enough to realize we're lost. Stop-and encounter the God who has climbed down the ladder from heaven to earth to find us. Stop-so we can at last receive all the blessing that, in Jesus Christ, God was dying to give us.

Being Human: The Nature of Spiritual Experience - By Randald Macaulay and Jerram Barrs
A must read on the theme of "when we are truly spiritual we are fully human." Citing scriptures, it insightfully answers questions that particularly plague believers today-affirming the self versus denying the self, guidance using our minds versus being led by the Spirit, having possessions versus being materialistic. If you are haunted by a sense of guilt and shame about your spirituality, and you need an explanation of specific "difficult to understand scriptures," then this is the book for you.

Trauma and Recovery - By Judith Herman MD
When Judith Herman's Trauma and Recovery was first published five years ago, it was hailed as a groundbreaking work. In the intervening years, Herman's now classic volume has changed the way we think about and treat traumatic events and trauma victims. Herman draws on her own cutting-edge research on domestic violence, as well as on a vast literature of combat veterans and victims of political terror, to show the parallels between private terrors such as rape and public traumas such as terrorism. The book puts individual experience in a broader political frame, arguing that psychological trauma can be understood only in a social context.

The Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment
by Babette Rothschild
Illuminates the value of understanding the psychophysiology of trauma for both clinicians and their traumatized clients. Traumatized people hold a memory of that trauma in their brains and bodies. This is the first book to link this phenomenon of somatic memory and the impact of trauma on the body. Rothschild presents techniques for addressing the memory in the body

Secrets, Lies, Betrayals : The Body/Mind Connection - By Maggie Scarf
This book explores how the body holds on to painful episodes from the past—including secrets we may be keeping even from ourselves—and how we can release them to live freer, healthier lives.

Moving Psychotherapy: Theory and Application of Pesso System/Psychomotor Therapy - By Albert Pesso, John Crandell
Pesso System/Psychotherapy (PS/P) integrates the mind, the "psyche," fueled by the body, the "motor," into a comprehensive, flexible, and subtle system for accomplishing emotional re-education and growth. Structures, defined as therapeutic work that involves the client and role-playing figures, in a controlled setting with carefully designed exercises, are used to resolve past conflicts, satisfy previously unmet needs, heal past emotional injuries, and enable hitherto unborn parts of the self to emerge. 

The Friend Who Got Away : Twenty Women's True Life Tales of Friendships that Blew Up, Burned Out or FadedAway - By Jenny Offill and Elissa Schappell

The Dance of Deception: A Guide to Authenticity and Truth-Telling in Women's Relationships - By Harriet Lerner
The Dance of Deception unravels the ways (and whys) that women show the false and hide the real -- even to our own selves. We see how relationships are affected by lying and faking, by silence and pretending and by brave -- but misguided -- efforts to tell the truth.

The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships - By Harriet Lerner
While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches women to identify the true sources of our anger and to use anger as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.

The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life - By Harriet Lerner
Written from her dual perspective as a psychologist and a mother, Lerner brings us deeply personal tales that run the gamut from the hilarious to the heart-wrenching. From birth or adoption to the empty nest, The Mother Dance teaches the basic lessons of motherhood: that we are not in control of what happens to our children, that most of what we worry about doesn't happen, and that our children will love us with all our imperfections if we can do the same for them

The Mom Factor - By Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Leave the Mud, Learn to Soar - By Elaine Martens Hamilton